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A Man's Code

Learning what healthy masculinity looks like.

I will treat other people with respect and decency. I will not demonize people who are different from me but will instead stand up for their rights and safety. I will seek to prevent a repeat of the horrors of history, as when many colonists destroyed Native peoples, when many American Southerners kept slaves and terrorized Black people, when Nazis persecuted and murdered Jews and others, when (continuing today) the Taliban stripped women of their rights and dignity.

I will seek romantic engagement with a woman in an appropriate context based on mutual respect, mutual well-being, and mutual recognition of personal autonomy. I will not grab women by the pussy, or by any other body part, except by unambiguous consent. I will not treat women as though they owe me sex, time, or admiration. I will not demean women to their faces or behind their backs but will instead speak out on their behalf. (Part of this is aimed at straight men.)

I will not hurt others or use force against them or their property, except in necessary defense of self or others.

I will take procreation seriously, think carefully about whether to have children and act accordingly, and commit to supporting my children financially, emotionally, and intellectually.

I will strive to find a productive purpose whereby I can support myself, pull my weight in my family, and contribute to my broader community.

I will honor my body and my mind, exercise and eat a healthy diet, give up smoking tobacco, and limit (or eliminate) my use of alcohol and other recreational drugs.

I will strive to respect and understand reality. I will not intentionally spread lies, and if I carelessly or unintentionally do so I will seek to quickly correct the record. I will not succumb to conspiracy mongering or intellectual tribalism, but will instead strive to think for myself and stand up to my friends when they are wrong.

Ari Armstrong's Web Log (Main) | Archives | Terms of Use